favorite things...

When I was a little girl, my favorite things were so simple…I loved wearing pigtails, running around outside…barefoot… all summer long. Mama taught me to swim, and helped me overcome my fear of the diving board. I loved staying all day at the pool and diving deep into the water ; feeling the refreshing coolness as my hands cut through the water over and over again until I was so tired… I would fall asleep on my towel in front of the kitchen (while the aroma of supper danced in the air)…the sound of cartoons playing somewhere in the background.  

Then as a young girl, my favorite things were different.  I loved to spend hours reading and imagining myself as the characters in the fairytales I read…the princess or the heroine…I loved ballet class, following and imitating the steps of my dance teacher. I loved riding my bike to the store and taking my granddad’s glass Coca-Cola bottles to the Piggly Wiggly and getting the deposit for the glass…just meager change- but so fun that he would let my brother and me keep the money and  go to the local dime store to buy grape bubble gum. I loved shoes and fashion and curling my hair, playing dress up… and I had posters (of the current teen heart-throb) on my wall and began listening to records all day. (we are talking vinyl here of course)

The high school girl version of me went through a myriad of different favorites, but all matching the typical teenage standard…music, friends, not flunking algebra. There was definitely a shift in the core of my girlhood attachments. I began to be more concerned about the opinion of my peers and was heavily influenced by the culture I was immersing myself in. But the reality was that inside was mostly still little girl pigtails, princess stories and ballet class, while the outside reflected big hair, blue mascara, and 80’s fad fashions and sometimes…a punk rock rebel attitude. I began to want to make my own way without really knowing what that all meant and often wound up trying to fill a void with things that don’t matter…but at the time...those things became my favorites. Most of all, I just wanted to be accepted, to be a part of something…to be loved.

The majority of girls that age tend towards a trend that begins in an innocent mind and often emerges due to the influence of the culture and the growing need to belong.  The more we try to fit, the more we find we are wandering lost and the favorite things of girlhood are forfeited for the allure of acceptance. In the end, there is only ONE whose acceptance matters most, and that acceptance was bought with a most valuable price. It was always there, even when we didn’t notice.  Jesus died and paid a debt we are completely unable to pay and His love is supreme, no other love and acceptance can ever compare. Belonging to Christ is the only real belonging and the greatest love a girl can ever know. The fellowship and sisterhood of believers is more excellent than anything we experience when following the crowd into groups or cliques we might think we have true community with.  Jesus sees those who are called His own as treasured, beloved, adored, cherished….

Belonging to Him…my Favorite.

“Now it is God who makes both us and you stand firm in Christ. He anointed us, set His seal of ownership on us, and put His Spirit in our hearts as a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come.” 1 Corinthians 1:21-22

Oh Lord, may those You have saved and call Your own treasure their existence in You, and cherish the promise of salvation and belonging to You.

good work...

There is no better way to figure out how to be a girl after God’s own heart than to look at examples of the virtuous and God-fearing women God may have put in our lives.  As I write this, I am thinking of so many women of God that have taught me, inspired me, humbled me, corrected me and blessed me. Each one has given me something different, in addition to their sisterly or motherly friendship, that I rely on in almost every moment of my day.  Although not by name, you will catch a glimpse of these exceptional women here in this post.

I have needed their influence along the way whether I knew it or not. I needed their examples as a young girl and I still need them for I am now in a completely new stage in life as a wife, mom, and woman searching out those specific areas in which God would have me serve. The youngest of my four sons is now in youth group so I have more freedom to serve in youth ministry to the extent that I have longed to for a while now. My husband Drew and I met because of our mutual calling to reach out to youth and children with the gospel, but raising my rambunctious boys has kept me fairly well occupied. It hasn’t always been easy to stay back with my young ones in tow while he went out into the wide world of youth evangelism, summer camp and laser tag. Don’t get me wrong, I have been blessed to be a mom and I have loved every minute of it. Even if I was just choosing the best baby bottle, I know at the time I was where I was meant to be.  I was just patiently awaiting the moment God might give me the freedom to jump back in, still not exactly sure where it might lead me.  I know I am not the only girl out there with this same experience and I am not only speaking to just the married or mom friends.  I know that there are many girls in high school, college, and also quite a few single or career women out there too who are wondering when their day of discovering their niche in service or ministry will come.  Of course, only God has the answer to that question, and looking into the scriptures we can see how God used ordinary people and their passions, talents, life skills, personalities, struggles and even their stage in life to bring their calling into focus.  After all, He is the author and designer of all these facets of our lives.    

No matter what your situation, many times our calling comes right in our own family. I speak to so many kids who just don’t understand how important it can be to be a Godly brother or sister to a sibling, and a help to your mother or father…a blessing to those you spend so much of your time with. Serve those people who are right there in front of you without complaining and watch and see the blessings it produces in your life.  If God chooses to bless you to become a wife and mother one day, then you will again have  an incredible ministry right in your own home; raising children to become godly men and women who can evangelize the world one day…maybe even the next Charles Spurgeon or Elizabeth Elliot. But why wait until then to love and serve the next generation?  

Being a girl after God’s own heart is never dull and with God there are no impossibilities as we grow into women and search for our purpose. God may place a woman working in a company where she sharpens the organizational skills needed to start a food pantry, a mentoring/ job training ministry, or even rescuing victims of child slavery. She may design software  and is able to one day help ministries set up their own websites, not to mention, the network of people she meets that God may one day use to assist her in that calling.  An older sister or a mom of an autistic child may one day counsel and encourage someone going through the same struggles she herself faced or find a way to support many ministries and missions working through a service business that also allows her use her God given gift of hospitality. She may find a clever solution to a problem or create a home business that is of great value to others. She may manage her own corporation of hand crafted goods from home and accomplish things she wouldn’t have otherwise been able to do in another setting because she is more productive in domestic surroundings ...and it may become a thriving industry that provides thousands of jobs for others. She may become a medical missionary bringing medicine and supplies to those who have nothing or use musical abilities God has given to inspire and uplift many with her worship songs. And I haven’t even begun to mention all those women who are the mainstay of prayer and support for their spouse, brother, sister or friend who is serving in missions or vocational ministry. What about the girl who simply listens…really listens and comforts and guides someone who doesn’t have anyone else to turn to. I could continue on and on and still not cover the breadth and depth of what a God fearing woman can accomplish in service for Jesus. But the point is that God knows… and He uses everything… from the seemingly small, mundane day to day events… to the overwhelming struggles…to shape us, mold us, work through us…  And it isn’t really what we can bring to Him but what He does ...with the circumstances we face and the capabilities He gave us ...through the transforming power of Jesus Christ.

So, to use a sort of old cliché that has been the motto for many a ladies retreat, “Bloom where you are planted”.  My interpretation of that old axiom is “Minister where you are providentially positioned”.  Most of the time, we find that our ministry calling isn’t some far off, lofty goal that may come into fruition in the distant future; it is whatever is right in front of us at that moment.

I am so thankful for these verses that remind us that it all starts with Him and His work in our hearts.

“And whatever you do or say, do it as a representative of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through him to God the Father.”  Colossians 3:17 (NLT)

 “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord…” Colossians 3:23 (NIV)

Thank You Lord for your transforming power, and thank You for work that glorifies You!

oh death....

There are many messages that the world sends out about the value of human life and the proposition of human death. For many years, concerns have been raised about the desensitizing effect of music and video games in which human life is so easily discarded. Even more recently, some concern has been raised with the onslaught of the very popular The Twilight Saga series and its messages about death, the soul and eternal life, and the mega popular The Hunger Games series and its thematic elements involving a “kill or be killed” story concept.  Life and death issues are commonly presented to us in many forms but seldom exhibit a true depiction of the eternal consequences of death. A couple of things here in reality are certain though: we come into existence because God ordained for our life to begin and one day we all die. Death is a part of life, even for the Christian. But that doesn’t mean life has to end.

As Resurrection Sunday approaches, we are reminded of the crucifixion of Jesus and all that it means. There is no altering the message here of life, death, or eternity. There is no variation on a theme. Jesus lived a sinless life, died as a sacrifice for our sins - which separate us from God, and offers the gift of eternal life to those who believe in Him. Because of the blood of Jesus, salvation is possible and eternal life is available. No man made story can depict the truth and beauty of Gospel redemption and the exchanged life. This is real…for those who believe…it is life giving.

Riding home from running some errands today, I noticed people walking to their cars following a funeral at a nearby cemetery. On this gloriously sunny afternoon, I could clearly see the sadness in their expressions. I have personally experienced loss and know the ache left behind when a loved one dies. Even more painful is the loss when it was the result of a violent, senseless act. But I am reminded that as painful as death and loss is, its darkness and finality is blotted out forever - for the believer. As beautiful and precious as life here on earth is…and it is so very precious…new life, life abundantly, and life eternally is infinitely dearer. It is this truth that allows the believer to proclaim: “Oh death, where is your victory? Oh death, where is your sting?” 1 Corinthians 15:55.  I will never know how someone who does not have their heart possessed by the truth of Sovereign Grace ever survives such a blow as death brings…thank You Lord, my God and Savior, I will never have to know.

Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. Whoever believes in me, though he die, yet shall he live, and everyone who lives and believes in me shall never die. Do you believe this?” John 11:25,26 

Oh Lord, You are my one and only Savior. Thank You for Your life giving sacrifice!

wardrobe remix...

I love my boys’ baby pictures, but I sometimes giggle at the wardrobe choices I made for them at the time.  I mean how many sailor suits does one baby need?  There they were; adorable, chubby, grinning babies, but looking as if they were going to be captain of a cruise ship or joining the navy.  Sometimes, they were dressed in little suits with bowties or little preppy looking tennis outfits. I can’t take all the blame. Some of these mini clothing calamities came courtesy of their grandparents. Needless to say, those styles don’t fit any of their personalities now that they are grown. And if God had chosen to give me a daughter, there would not have been enough room in the camera frame for all the pink frilled tutus, polka dotted ruffles, and humongous hair bows. But for all of us more grown up girls and boys, this reminds me of an important truth: how we dress can send out messages about us, whether we mean for it to or not. If you study the Bible, you can see that often people were identified by the way they were dressed:
- You may read about the garment of a widow, or someone told to dress for mourning the dead in sackcloth and ash.  (2 Samuel 3:31)
-You can read a warning from God stating that women should not dress like men and men should not dress like women.  (Deuteronomy 22:5)
-You can also read a warning for a man to avoid a woman dressed seductively or in the clothing of a harlot.  (Proverbs Chapter 7)
I am not trying to specifically address those biblical lessons here at this time but I do want to caution girls to be careful about their apparel, whether they inadvertently dress in a provocative way because they have seen the same fads promoted as the ideal for beauty, or because they deliberately reveal their hidden charms to court the attention of guys.
One thing that is important to note: A girl may have the heart of an angel and dress suggestively while on the other hand a girl may dress like a puritan-covered up from her neck to her toes-but still carry herself in a way as to appear seductive. Yes, it’s true that God looks at the heart and not what is on the outside, but there is something important to think about here, especially for girls, in this wired for visual world that is designed to tantalize the eyes of men.

I don’t plan to lay out a way that I think every girl should dress in order to be appropriate. There is no list or such a thing as “Christian clothes”. I think it is difficult, not impossible, but difficult to find modest clothing and even if you do, fashions change from year to year so this year’s craze will be next year’s cast-offs.  And let me also say that every guy is responsible before God to be careful where his eyes and heart are focused. But not all guys care what God thinks about how they look at a girl. Around the wrong kind of guy, you are risking your own safety. Around the worst kind of guy, you may find that he has interpreted a message you never intended to send to anyone, yet you find yourself regretting the threat you have attracted and regretting it in the worst possible way… at the very least you may be made to feel uneasy, and at the very most, you may come to be harmed…just by dressing in even a slightly revealing manner. I have had very heart breaking discussions with girls who grieve the outcome of testing out their attractiveness to guys by the way they were dressed. I think if most women (even the noblest of women) were really honest, they could find something in their past dress or behavior around other guys to cause at least some disappointment. I have my own misgivings about fashion follies, both innocent and deliberate. Some were just plain embarrassing and some caused me regret. So this is not a judgment I am throwing down from some high horse. I mean this as an affectionate warning from someone who is sympathetic to the hazards of being naïve to the effect of a little flashing of skin. Some guys will take it as a sign of flirtation. Don’t buy into the lie sold by the Abercrombie and Fitch ads and don’t let it give you a complex similar to that which permeates our society.

The first book of Timothy gives us vital instructions on this matter; “… in like manner also, that the women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with propriety and moderation….. which is proper for women professing godliness, with good works.”  1 Timothy 2:9-10(NKJV).  This advice helps us guard against the inclination to dress in a way that might give us an outcome that ends up being much less desirable than we think it will be in the moment. Just ask yourself this question: In choosing what I wear today, whose attention am I trying to gain? Don’t send a miscommunicated message by dressing for the wrong person. You are very precious to God and created by Him to bring glory to His name. Let Him shine through and show the world the grace and beauty of a girl after God’s own heart who is devoted to worshipping Him.

Oh Lord, help me to have the right intent of heart in the way I present myself to the world… letting the way I dress be an outward reflection  of my desire not to distract from the gospel or Your glory, trusting that Your ways are best in all things.

beautiful,beautiful...

When I stand in line at the grocery store and see the multitude of magazine covers depicting young starlets, it appears that these young ladies are looking for - longing for - love and attention. Unless you are what is considered by society to be beautiful or famous (in some cases, famous just for being beautiful) then you are not likely to appear on the front cover.  Of course, there is the option of gaining headline status based on a scandal or some kind of sensational and bizarre behavior. After viewing their escapades, I am frequently inspired to sit the Miley Cyrus and Lindsay Lohan types of the world down and give them a motherly “pep talk”. I see how difficult it is for girls to navigate through a world full of perfect hair and skinny jeans.  Many a girl stands in front of their mirror grimacing at their chubby cheeks, or mentally measuring the circumference of their thighs. And not just young girls, but girls of every age are susceptible. However, God has no such value system …"the Lord looks at the heart.” 1 Samuel 16:7

I knew a girl in college who was younger than me and honestly she was a rather plain looking girl from a rural town. She was also very sad and had a terrible time adjusting to college life and fitting in with other girls who wore more modern styles and fashions. My group of friends and I invited her to meet with us each morning and walk to the dining hall together.  Most mornings she would appear at our door in a fit of tears; she rarely showed a smile. We prayed for her and reached out to her in friendship but were at a loss as to how else we might help her. I left at the end of the school year wondering what might become of her. Later I received a letter from her. She shared that she had surrendered her life and will to Jesus and wanted me to know how much her life had changed. I soon obtained an Alumni Newsletter from my college and on the pages were pictures of this same girl, same plain dress, plain hair… but the expression on her face...beautiful… as if all of heaven had opened up. Her countenance was so remarkably different; I would not have recognized her if not for the clothes. She was accepting an academic award along with a few other people and she was beaming with confidence, joy and contentment. The peace in her heart was written in the expressions of her face. New life in Jesus …beautiful, beautiful… beauty that every girl with a surrendered heart may exhibit.

“…but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious.”  1Peter 3:4 (ESV)

Oh Lord, that I may always remember that the beauty of a surrendered heart cannot begin to compare with all the glittering glamour this world has put on display.

say what??!

What is it about a broken heart that makes it hard listen to the very thing we need to hear?  After all the tears have been cried and the cryptic facebook posts have been uttered, are we even ready to listen then?  I suspect that sometimes it is just easier to stay angry than to forgive. We feed on that pain until it turns bitter and for some reason it gives us strength....or so we foolishly think.  I was speaking with a young woman at a retreat a few years back who shared her difficult story with me. My advice to her was that forgiveness was the only remedy for the heartache she was experiencing.  She wasn’t ready to hear it and was certainly unwilling to forgive. The pain was just too fresh.  ”You must not understand what happened and what this person has done to me!” she exclaimed 

Well maybe she was right. I, like anyone else, have had my own share of heartbreak but that doesn’t mean I could fully understand what she was going through.  One thing I did understand though was that she would never have peace without forgiveness. Often times, we think forgiveness means that we simply stop resenting the person we blame for our hurt.  Real forgiveness means we go a step further. We must grant the offender a total and free pardon and give up every claim that we deserve an apology. “Say what?!!”  Yes, you heard me correctly.  And furthermore, we cannot walk with God in true fellowship if we refuse to forgive others. Jesus has granted the repentant sinner total and free pardon from the offenses committed against Him giving up any claim on account of our debt for that pardon. 

 “.. bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do.” Colossians  3:13

Forgiveness...we don’t deserve it girl…and He gave it anyway. (Also see Hebrews 8:12 and Matthew 6:14) So now what should we say?

Oh Lord, that I might have the grace to forgive as you have forgiven me and live in freedom from the heartache of unforgiveness.   

a new thing....

I am not a girl who likes change and yet it seems my life is always in some state of adjustment. Some of these changes are welcome and some are just downright perturbing. I often find myself day-dreaming of a schedule that goes according to my plan. However, at the end of the day, I discovered I spent way too much energy being frustrated with people and circumstances that got in the way of my accomplishments (insert music playing over a movie-montage of delightful activities here) which had previously centered around my oh-so perfect agenda.

I only have myself to blame though and I certainly know better. I know that there isn't one event in my life that is a surprise to God. He is directing my life and  He is there to pick me up when I dissolve into a puddle of panic. He is constant, steady and immovable in an ever changing world. He also tells me that I should embrace the varying landscape of the life He gave me..and not look back to what has gone before.

"See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland."  Isaiah 43:19

Oh Lord, that I might run to greet every new thing you do in my life. Spring up new thing... spring up!