epic love...

Most girls have dreamt of love and a future with a family and the whole white picket fence thing.  There are a many more that have a dream of what their wedding will be down to the napkins and centerpieces, and they have held this fantasy in their memory even from childhood.  And of course, along with that ideal picture comes the image of that dreamy guy. It is this quandary that keeps girls circling the love/dating maze trying and hoping for true amore. Our proverbial Romeos and Juliets are frequently ill equipped to recognize true love from a fake and God made us girls and guys wired very differently and with varying needs and focuses when it comes to relationships - so when we don’t know any better, we may settle for something less than God intends. There is nothing wrong with the desire for a singular sweetheart to love always and forever but it is just so crucial to see all of this from God’s perspective instead of seeing it through the rosy lens of what our favorite romantic flick conjures up in our fascination.

Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate a good and honest romance story and probably hold the record for reading and re-reading all of Jane Austin’s novels and viewing every film adaptation thereof. And having been married over 21 years now, I have a box full of cards and love letters from my hubby to rival anything Mr. Darcy ever wrote.  It is my romantic inclinations that make me pull them out now and then to read a few.  Although the actions of a beau to his beloved are very important to a girl, words of devotion and endearment on the written page are a high priority when it comes to the matters of a girl’s heart. I am pretty attached to the affectionate words that Drew wrote me during our early courtship. They remind of that time when God was healing past hurts and bringing us together. Many of his sentimental expressions to me echo in my mind and even after all these years the remembrance of those utterances makes my heart go pitter-pat.  He would often tell me that our meeting was a dream come true and tell me I was a gift from God.  On the day we got engaged, he gave me a Valentine’s Day card which read; “I will always be faithful to you…God put a band-aid on our hearts when He gave us each other.” Inside, Drew had used a band-aid to tape my engagement ring to the card and asked me to marry him that day.  Sigh…. It brings me back to that time as if it just happened and I can say that it probably means even more now than it did then, corny though it may be to some.  I also cherish all the letters I’ve kept that contain reminders from Drew to remain committed to putting Jesus first and not get focused on myself and my wants. These endearments bring to mind that moment I knew my life would change and I also knew, even before he asked that I was going to marry this guy. 

But the very best love letter, I must say, is far and away the perfect expression of authentic love ever written and that is the Bible; God’s very own words. It is a letter of love to us and we may take it a little too much for granted sometimes when it is different from any other letter; not merely ink and paper but an alive and eternally soul shattering record of God’s perfect love.  These are His very words composed so affectionately of genuine faithfulness, love, and compassion. Promises from God our Savior who makes an everlasting covenant with those He calls His own (Jeremiah 32:40), comforts us with an unfailing love (Psalm 119:76), carries our tears in a bottle (Psalm 56:8), loves us even if our own mother or father may forget or forsake us (Psalm 27:10, Isaiah 49:15), has engraved us on the palms of His hands (Isaiah 49:16), will quiet us with His love (Zephaniah 3:17),discerns by His love those who truly know Him and is love Himself (1 John 4:8), has suffered and died taking our punishment in order to save us and give us the gift of grace(Isaiah 53:5, Romans 5:8, 1 John 4:9-11, John 3:16), and nothing in creation can separate us from His love( Romans 8:38-39); He will not deny a broken heart and a contrite spirit and is near to the broken hearted (Psalm 51:17, Psalm 34:18). I could go on and on to list references to those words that are of loving and firm instruction and some that are to expose the depravity of our hearts, and then others that are the foretelling of the promised Savior that came to earth and the revealing of promises yet to come; but there is not enough room here for all that could be said of the precious gift of Scripture.  And all of this was given freely even when we would reject Him by our faithless hearts and not love Him first and only.  I will never forget the moment when Jesus pierced my heart, opened up my eyes and I sat there, reading through tears, words that were a mirror of my soul’s condition … and then knowing how desperately I needed Him, I continued reading words of love that He had laid down His life for me, He would take me as beggarly as I am, cleanse me, make me new… and make me called by His name…His child. I still don’t fully comprehend His love and am convinced of the fact  that I don’t deserve it, but I do know that belonging to Christ is the greatest romance anyone could ever experience and even the most profound earthly love pales in the light and glory of Jesus and eternity.  It is only because of His love that a girl can know the difference between a selfish earthly love and an honest love ordained by Him to glorify Him…and we can discern when someone is playing or pretending at love to selfishly reap a personal benefit or if they are submitted to the Author of love and want God’s highest best for us.  What a tragedy to bind God’s words of love and put it away in a box on a shelf somewhere…only to get it out and read occasionally - when in the Bible,  in this letter,  are the words of Life,  Truth,  Grace, and Salvation.  Epic, amazing, LOVE.

“We love because He first loved us.” 1 John 4:19

Oh Lord, thank You for loving us!

dear friend...

I would probably call this blog a “devotional” of sorts; with the goal being to get girls talking about how to live the Christian life and devote themselves to sharing that life with others. I definitely have taken the opportunity to share personal experiences - at times in the form of encouragement and at times as a warning against running down a path that might make a girl vulnerable to danger. So the story I will share - about one of my very best friends - is no exception -  and a big motivator God has used in my life to share what He designed relationships to be. With the month of February being Teen Dating Violence Awareness and Prevention Month – what I am about to share is even more important than ever…

My friend was a beautiful young girl who became one of my best friends during my college years. I met her when she was staying with her sister’s family. This family attended the church where I had just joined after coming to faith in Christ. She was a constant source of encouragement to me. She and her entire family reached out to me and treated me as one of their own and the memories of my time with all of them are so precious. My friend always sought to remind me to seek Jesus first and to trust Him more with all areas of my life. I ended up going to college about an hour away. We kept in touch but time and our busy schedules made it difficult. Through her continued encouragement, she would point out God's providence in my circumstances and I began to see she was right about trusting God...because He is in control of even the smallest details of our lives. This authentic fellowship is what I never knew I always craved in a true friend, and it's what God intends for us as believers. I made some big changes at that point in my life and not too long after that, I met my future husband. I also got news that she had become pretty serious with a guy from her hometown. This was a guy she had known for a while. She had started dating him, but had chosen not to share too many details surrounding their relationship; even with me and even during a visit I had with her during a break from school. I would find out why much later - that he had become a controlling and manipulating force in her life and she had found herself bound in a situation that was hard to untangle.

Many girls find themselves in the same situation with someone that they are dating. Girls sometimes feel they are responsible to help a guy get over his problems and think they might be able to love their guy through the pain and anger they feel. I have met a few girls in this situation and they have all told me that they ended up erroneously thinking it was their own fault that their guy couldn’t find victory over the pain and anger that fueled their outbursts. In the end, another victim was born out of this mind set. But God made you for more than that and He would never call you to be damaged and attacked in that way. Abusive relationships of one kind or another occur every day and sometimes they end with tragic consequences.

Summarily, here are just a few statistics - and these are just some of the statistics relating to teen girls/dating relationships…

- Almost 1.5 million high school students nationwide experience physical abuse from a dating partner in a single year and statistics tell us that most are young girls.

- One out of three adolescents in the U.S. is a victim of physical, sexual, emotional or verbal abuse from a dating partner. It should be noted that this far exceeds the rates of other types of youth violence. Think about it, more than any other type of youth violence you might hear about daily on the six o’clock news….

- One out of four high school girls has been a victim of physical or sexual abuse from a guy friend or dating partner.

Again, these represent only a few of the statistics out there and since many girls don’t ever tell anyone what happened to them in an abusive relationship, the real statistics are very elusive. When speaking to girls coming out of an abusive relationship, one thing has been clear to me: most stay in the pattern of abuse because of either fear for themselves or for their family members. This is what happened to my dear friend. My friend lost her life at the hands of her abuser. Only later did anyone find out that she stayed in contact with this guy as long as she did because of threats he made against her - and her family.

So according to what statistics tell us….when I am at a youth event or camp, and I look out at the faces of these teen girls, it is possible that one out of every four of them has, in some way, been a victim of some kind of abuse and many have never told anyone. And listen to me on this, the church is not immune to this. Let’s do everything we can and use every resource God gives us to stop any and all abuse from happening (not just dating abuse). God can overcome the sin of abuse just like any other, but girls are not meant to put themselves in the place of the rescuer or becoming vulnerable to danger.

"It (Love) does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful..." 1 Corinthians 13:5

“My child, don’t go along with them! Stay far away from their paths. “Proverbs 1:15

O Lord, open our eyes to real love…and to see things the way You see them so we can reach out for help or help someone we see who is in trouble.

*There are many resources out there. Please don’t let abuse continue. Talk to someone trustworthy and call out for help right away!

 

Helpful resources that offer support, information and advocacy to those involved in dating abuse relationships as well as concerned friends, parents, teachers, clergy, law enforcement and service providers, and for referrals to get help:

National Domestic Violence Hotline 800-799-SAFE (7233)

National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline  1-866-331-9474

http://www.focusministries1.org/

 

heart broken…

This past week our nation was stunned to hear that teachers and young students were murdered while they were at a school in Connecticut. The horror was unimaginable to see on the news and at times it was overwhelmingly sad to watch the facts unfold from all the true accounts. But when the names and ages of the slain children began to be broadcast, I completely lost it. So young; too young, too soon these babies…and their teachers are gone. This is one of those times when a cry is raised to put an end to….something. Let’s end bullying, or improve school security. Let’s assemble a panel on mass violence or blame the parents or blame violent video games or ban guns, etc. There may be great validity in applying some focus on new safety measures and towards the prevention of these violent acts. However, there is more at the root of the problem than what is being addressed.

The ultimate problem can be summed up in one word: sin. Sin entered the world and the earth groans under the weight of it. Sin begets all kinds of selfish actions. And the only solution to the problem of sin is salvation through the blood of Jesus Christ. The fact that we don’t want to acknowledge is that if it weren’t for the life transforming power of Grace, there would be far more atrocities committed at the hands of immensely flawed humans who are bent on destruction. I have personally witnessed the power of God in young people who would be considered a lost cause by many. These were students whom by their own admission and in their sins had a fierce desire to hurt others. Some were even planning their own form of revenge. But, because of Salvation, they are changed and now share their own stories of regeneration.

I do not have all the answers or even condolences for this tragedy but I do know that the Father of all creation watched His own child be mocked, beaten, and murdered. And the Bible tells us Jesus has firsthand knowledge of our sorrow and grief (Isaiah 53:4). Jesus died a criminal’s death to save sinners. We will never be able to entirely avoid affliction on this side of eternity and the redeemed soul knows that if God does not choose to rescue them from disaster in this life, then He will rescue them in death. “Trust in the Lord…with all your heart” (Proverbs 3:5)…even when it is in confused and broken pieces. He is the only salve for our wounded hearts and sin wrecked souls. Tell others about Jesus. Obey His word and follow His example… even when it hurts or it is hard …and watch Him restore what was shattered by sin.

 

“…the punishment that brought us peace was on Him, and by His wounds we are healed.” Isaiah 53:5

“Do you not know? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and His understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” Isaiah 40:28-31

 

….Lord Jesus, we need You..

oh, baby...

Most people just love babies and for little girls it can be a fascination formed at a very young age. What girl can forget playing with a baby doll. Both my nieces have loved collecting their dolls and the pretend play of being a little mama.  My youngest niece has a doll she named “babby abbby" and it became her constant companion. She would twist and twirl the doll’s hair around her little finger and hold on so tightly that before long, “babby abby” was in need of some lavish hair extensions. Oh how she has loved on that doll and how we all have enjoyed watching this bright, smiling baby girl light up as she has shared stories of her "babby abby" adventures in her own little toddler vernacular. Whether we are little girls playing with dolls or grown up girls (even girls with seemingly jaded hearts) we can all get pretty mushy at the sight of a small rosy cheeked cherub. The innocence and joy of a baby can lighten the hardened affections of some seriously Scrooge-y folks and foster a wealth of compassion, kindness, charity...and even grace. God in all of His infinite wisdom chose this very form, the form of a baby, for Salvation to come to us. Such a lowly state for the King of glory to make His entrance and yet this was one baby that had everyone sitting on the edge of their seats.

Oh, when I think of what Jesus did; that He would come to earth as a helpless baby. He is Majesty, yet He subjected Himself to the limitations of human living.  He cried like a baby, was fed and changed like a baby, toddled like a baby because He was a baby. But Jesus was also fully God and He grew up and lived humbly in a world where people would hate Him. He left the holy grandeur of heaven where angels sang to the glory and praise of Almighty God and came to a world filled with beings bent on living apart from God and His saving Grace. Jesus came as an infant to a place where an earthly king would have such arrogant indifference to the value of human life that he would seek the slaying of every baby two years of age and under ... all in an effort to destroy the Power and Presence of a heavenly King.  I will never be able to fathom the depth of loss that must have been felt by Jesus when He left His Father’s presence and was plunged into such a life. To the Glory of God, He did it anyway and with unending love for us. He was born, He lived on this earth and He died to give eternal life to me and to all who are called by His name. Oh what a magnificent Baby…oh what praise we bring to our King...oh what a glorious Savior!

 
"The Word (Jesus) became flesh and made His dwelling among us. We have seen His glory, the glory of the one and only Son, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth." John 1:14






Oh Jesus, glory to Your name always and forever! This Baby, this King, this Holy One who came to bring salvation!

 

got hope?

Hope is a powerful force!  As the holidays approach, I hear of those in my circles of influence that are going through difficult times and in need a little hope.  My heart aches for those who feel they have no hope and think of giving up. Often times, distraught folks have been clinging to a false hope that is only an escape from reality and is never lasting.  Merriam-Webster's Dictionary has several definitions for the word hope; one being “to cherish a desire with anticipation”.  Another definition - and this is more representative of the biblical usage of the word - “to expect with confidence: trust”.  Hope may refer to the activity of hoping or to the object hoped for. Either way, hope is never passive.  Authentic hope is a vitalizing, life infusing force that nothing can destroy. Hard times may disturb hope… but never destroy it. 

So what does this hope look like?  Well there are so many examples in God’s word of girls who had twenty-four carat hope…the real thing…one being Mary, the mother of Jesus. Did you know that she was probably only 12 or 13 when an angel appeared to her and told her she would be a mother? She was just an ordinary girl who was engaged to a carpenter and probably looking forward to marriage…. a poor, young girl being given a pretty shocking telegram from the Maker of the universe! This angelic report was Good News…she would be the vessel to usher in the Messiah, the Savior of all men.  This assignment presented a few hardships and possible outcomes. Mary would be pregnant before her wedding and likely subject to a whisper campaign against her reputation for the supposed scandal when she had done nothing wrong. She might even lose her fiancé due to this premarital muddle. And even though it was difficult for her to understand how she might conceive her Savior, she responded in a way that was a breathtaking exhibition of the hope she unmistakably clung to. Mary’s example is the ideal for how real hope changes a person. Not just small change, but significant change! For starters, hope changes our perception of ourselves. It turns our reflection into one that is that of traveler here on earth and the portrait of life here as it really is; a fragile thing and not at all permanent…merely a doodle on a page.  It points our attention to God who is the perfect creator of our earthly life and heavenly promise.  As the angel said to Mary, “…no word from God will ever fail.” Luke 1:37   This is the certainty that caused Mary to say “I am the Lord's servant…may it be to me as you have said."  Luke 1:38   A girl who hopes is a girl who says, “I am yours Lord, do with my life what you will because it is yours.”  Hope also changes what is important to us. Heaven is the home we are inching towards and the hope of that dims everything else by comparison and affects how we spend the time we have been given.  

Like many girls out there, I personally have had moments of melancholy and feelings of gloominess. But like Mary, the trustful expectations of the fulfillment of all of God’s promises are what have held me in hope’s grasp. It is not a flimsy or baseless optimism, nor is it a superficial longing for some marginally attainable good thing.  True hope stands in the face of suffering and has its confidence in the God of the Bible and His saving acts.   

“That is why we labor and strive, because we have put our hope in the living God, who is the Savior of all people, and especially of those who believe.” 1 Timothy 4:10

Oh Lord, You are my only Savior, my only Hope. I trust in You no matter what and You destroy the dark places that try to envelop my heart.

favorite things...

When I was a little girl, my favorite things were so simple…I loved wearing pigtails, running around outside…barefoot… all summer long. Mama taught me to swim, and helped me overcome my fear of the diving board. I loved staying all day at the pool and diving deep into the water ; feeling the refreshing coolness as my hands cut through the water over and over again until I was so tired… I would fall asleep on my towel in front of the kitchen (while the aroma of supper danced in the air)…the sound of cartoons playing somewhere in the background.  

Then as a young girl, my favorite things were different.  I loved to spend hours reading and imagining myself as the characters in the fairytales I read…the princess or the heroine…I loved ballet class, following and imitating the steps of my dance teacher. I loved riding my bike to the store and taking my granddad’s glass Coca-Cola bottles to the Piggly Wiggly and getting the deposit for the glass…just meager change- but so fun that he would let my brother and me keep the money and  go to the local dime store to buy grape bubble gum. I loved shoes and fashion and curling my hair, playing dress up… and I had posters (of the current teen heart-throb) on my wall and began listening to records all day. (we are talking vinyl here of course)

The high school girl version of me went through a myriad of different favorites, but all matching the typical teenage standard…music, friends, not flunking algebra. There was definitely a shift in the core of my girlhood attachments. I began to be more concerned about the opinion of my peers and was heavily influenced by the culture I was immersing myself in. But the reality was that inside was mostly still little girl pigtails, princess stories and ballet class, while the outside reflected big hair, blue mascara, and 80’s fad fashions and sometimes…a punk rock rebel attitude. I began to want to make my own way without really knowing what that all meant and often wound up trying to fill a void with things that don’t matter…but at the time...those things became my favorites. Most of all, I just wanted to be accepted, to be a part of something…to be loved.

The majority of girls that age tend towards a trend that begins in an innocent mind and often emerges due to the influence of the culture and the growing need to belong.  The more we try to fit, the more we find we are wandering lost and the favorite things of girlhood are forfeited for the allure of acceptance. In the end, there is only ONE whose acceptance matters most, and that acceptance was bought with a most valuable price. It was always there, even when we didn’t notice.  Jesus died and paid a debt we are completely unable to pay and His love is supreme, no other love and acceptance can ever compare. Belonging to Christ is the only real belonging and the greatest love a girl can ever know. The fellowship and sisterhood of believers is more excellent than anything we experience when following the crowd into groups or cliques we might think we have true community with.  Jesus sees those who are called His own as treasured, beloved, adored, cherished….

Belonging to Him…my Favorite.

“Now it is God who makes both us and you stand firm in Christ. He anointed us, set His seal of ownership on us, and put His Spirit in our hearts as a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come.” 1 Corinthians 1:21-22

Oh Lord, may those You have saved and call Your own treasure their existence in You, and cherish the promise of salvation and belonging to You.

good work...

There is no better way to figure out how to be a girl after God’s own heart than to look at examples of the virtuous and God-fearing women God may have put in our lives.  As I write this, I am thinking of so many women of God that have taught me, inspired me, humbled me, corrected me and blessed me. Each one has given me something different, in addition to their sisterly or motherly friendship, that I rely on in almost every moment of my day.  Although not by name, you will catch a glimpse of these exceptional women here in this post.

I have needed their influence along the way whether I knew it or not. I needed their examples as a young girl and I still need them for I am now in a completely new stage in life as a wife, mom, and woman searching out those specific areas in which God would have me serve. The youngest of my four sons is now in youth group so I have more freedom to serve in youth ministry to the extent that I have longed to for a while now. My husband Drew and I met because of our mutual calling to reach out to youth and children with the gospel, but raising my rambunctious boys has kept me fairly well occupied. It hasn’t always been easy to stay back with my young ones in tow while he went out into the wide world of youth evangelism, summer camp and laser tag. Don’t get me wrong, I have been blessed to be a mom and I have loved every minute of it. Even if I was just choosing the best baby bottle, I know at the time I was where I was meant to be.  I was just patiently awaiting the moment God might give me the freedom to jump back in, still not exactly sure where it might lead me.  I know I am not the only girl out there with this same experience and I am not only speaking to just the married or mom friends.  I know that there are many girls in high school, college, and also quite a few single or career women out there too who are wondering when their day of discovering their niche in service or ministry will come.  Of course, only God has the answer to that question, and looking into the scriptures we can see how God used ordinary people and their passions, talents, life skills, personalities, struggles and even their stage in life to bring their calling into focus.  After all, He is the author and designer of all these facets of our lives.    

No matter what your situation, many times our calling comes right in our own family. I speak to so many kids who just don’t understand how important it can be to be a Godly brother or sister to a sibling, and a help to your mother or father…a blessing to those you spend so much of your time with. Serve those people who are right there in front of you without complaining and watch and see the blessings it produces in your life.  If God chooses to bless you to become a wife and mother one day, then you will again have  an incredible ministry right in your own home; raising children to become godly men and women who can evangelize the world one day…maybe even the next Charles Spurgeon or Elizabeth Elliot. But why wait until then to love and serve the next generation?  

Being a girl after God’s own heart is never dull and with God there are no impossibilities as we grow into women and search for our purpose. God may place a woman working in a company where she sharpens the organizational skills needed to start a food pantry, a mentoring/ job training ministry, or even rescuing victims of child slavery. She may design software  and is able to one day help ministries set up their own websites, not to mention, the network of people she meets that God may one day use to assist her in that calling.  An older sister or a mom of an autistic child may one day counsel and encourage someone going through the same struggles she herself faced or find a way to support many ministries and missions working through a service business that also allows her use her God given gift of hospitality. She may find a clever solution to a problem or create a home business that is of great value to others. She may manage her own corporation of hand crafted goods from home and accomplish things she wouldn’t have otherwise been able to do in another setting because she is more productive in domestic surroundings ...and it may become a thriving industry that provides thousands of jobs for others. She may become a medical missionary bringing medicine and supplies to those who have nothing or use musical abilities God has given to inspire and uplift many with her worship songs. And I haven’t even begun to mention all those women who are the mainstay of prayer and support for their spouse, brother, sister or friend who is serving in missions or vocational ministry. What about the girl who simply listens…really listens and comforts and guides someone who doesn’t have anyone else to turn to. I could continue on and on and still not cover the breadth and depth of what a God fearing woman can accomplish in service for Jesus. But the point is that God knows… and He uses everything… from the seemingly small, mundane day to day events… to the overwhelming struggles…to shape us, mold us, work through us…  And it isn’t really what we can bring to Him but what He does ...with the circumstances we face and the capabilities He gave us ...through the transforming power of Jesus Christ.

So, to use a sort of old cliché that has been the motto for many a ladies retreat, “Bloom where you are planted”.  My interpretation of that old axiom is “Minister where you are providentially positioned”.  Most of the time, we find that our ministry calling isn’t some far off, lofty goal that may come into fruition in the distant future; it is whatever is right in front of us at that moment.

I am so thankful for these verses that remind us that it all starts with Him and His work in our hearts.

“And whatever you do or say, do it as a representative of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through him to God the Father.”  Colossians 3:17 (NLT)

 “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord…” Colossians 3:23 (NIV)

Thank You Lord for your transforming power, and thank You for work that glorifies You!