wardrobe remix...

I love my boys’ baby pictures, but I sometimes giggle at the wardrobe choices I made for them at the time.  I mean how many sailor suits does one baby need?  There they were; adorable, chubby, grinning babies, but looking as if they were going to be captain of a cruise ship or joining the navy.  Sometimes, they were dressed in little suits with bowties or little preppy looking tennis outfits. I can’t take all the blame. Some of these mini clothing calamities came courtesy of their grandparents. Needless to say, those styles don’t fit any of their personalities now that they are grown. And if God had chosen to give me a daughter, there would not have been enough room in the camera frame for all the pink frilled tutus, polka dotted ruffles, and humongous hair bows. But for all of us more grown up girls and boys, this reminds me of an important truth: how we dress can send out messages about us, whether we mean for it to or not. If you study the Bible, you can see that often people were identified by the way they were dressed:

- You may read about the garment of a widow, or someone told to dress for mourning the dead in sackcloth and ash.  (2 Samuel 3:31)
-You can read a warning from God stating that women should not dress like men and men should not dress like women.  (Deuteronomy 22:5)
-You can also read a warning for a man to avoid a woman dressed seductively or in the clothing of a harlot.  (Proverbs 7)

I am not trying to specifically address those verses here at this time but I do want to caution girls to be careful about their apparel, whether they inadvertently dress in a provocative way because they have seen the same fads promoted as the ideal for beauty, or because they deliberately reveal their hidden charms to court the attention of guys.
One thing that is important to note: A girl may have the heart of an angel and dress suggestively while on the other hand a girl may dress like a puritan-covered up from her neck to her toes-but still carry herself in a way as to appear seductive. Yes, it’s true that God looks at the heart and not what is on the outside, but there is something important to think about here, especially for girls, in this wired for visual world that is designed to tantalize the eyes of men.

I don’t plan to lay out a way that I think every girl should dress in order to be appropriate-although I could point you to some girls I know who are great examples of a young girl who dresses in a stylish and still modest way. There is no list or such a thing as “Christian clothes”. I think it is difficult, not impossible, but difficult to find modest clothing and even if you do, fashions change from year to year so this year’s craze will be next year’s cast-offs.  And let me also say that every guy is responsible before God to be careful where his eyes and heart are focused. But not all guys care what God thinks about how they look at a girl. Around the wrong kind of guy, you are risking your own safety. Around the worst kind of guy, you may find that he has interpreted a message you never intended to send to anyone, yet you find yourself regretting the threat you have attracted and regretting it in the worst possible way… at the very least you may be made to feel uneasy, and at the very most, you may come to be harmed…just by dressing in even a slightly revealing manner. I have had very heart breaking discussions with girls who grieve the outcome of testing out their attractiveness to guys by the way they were dressed. I think if most women (even the noblest of women) were really honest, they could find something in their past dress or behavior around other guys to cause at least some disappointment. I have my own misgivings about fashion follies, both innocent and deliberate. Some were just plain embarrassing and some caused me regret. So this is not a judgment I am throwing down from some high horse. I mean this as an affectionate warning from someone who is sympathetic to the hazards of being naïve to the effect of a little flashing of skin. Some guys will take it as a sign of flirtation. Don’t buy into the lie sold by the Abercrombie and Fitch ads and don’t let it give you a complex similar to that which permeates our society.

The first book of Timothy gives us vital instructions on this matter; “… in like manner also, that the women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with propriety and moderation….. which is proper for women professing godliness, with good works.”  1 Timothy 2:9-10(NKJV).  This advice helps us guard against the inclination to dress in a way that might give us an outcome that ends up being much less desirable than we think it will be in the moment. Just ask yourself this question: In choosing what I wear today, whose attention am I trying to gain? Don’t send a miscommunicated message by dressing for the wrong person. You are very precious to God and created by Him to bring glory to His name. Let Him shine through and show the world the grace and beauty of a girl after God’s own heart who is devoted to worshipping Him.

Oh Lord, help me to have the right intent of heart in the way I present myself to the world… letting the way I dress be an outward reflection  of my desire not to distract from the gospel or Your glory, trusting that Your ways are best in all things.